Smile

That war that I’ve waged between my ears wore me down my dear. 

The dreams I’ve dreamt out loud scarred my arms, deafened my ears.

I’m looking to the ceiling my dear.

As if it was my sole friend, a smooth and silky lullaby.

My damage is way too much to repair my dear.

I don’t even know where to patch first to save you from the darkness that pours out of my cracks.

The silence is too loud my dear.

I don’t even remember what it used to be to feel the autumn breeze whispering.

Pain used to be a color in the palette my dear.

Not the polish on the box that will shine under the winter sun,

Reflecting all the faces that failed to hear when I still had words to say.

I promise you I did my best my dear.

Tomorrow is blending with yesterday while today can’t breathe anymore.

There was a part of me that couldn’t comprehend any of this my dear.

Tonight, it all made sense between two breaths, in a blink, in a shy heartbeat.

Don’t be sad, it’s not any of you that I couldn’t carry my dear.

It’s all the things that I didn’t want to bother you with.

Don’t be sad my dear.

I’ve cried for the both of us until I had no tears left in my lonely soul.

Don’t be sorry my dear.

I’m sorry for the both of us, and for many more whom will repaint me in colors that I’ve given up for them.

Don’t be sorry my dear.

I’ve felt sorry for everything and anything.

I’m too tired to whisper you how tired I am my dear.

You know I’d never leave you if I could.

Smile my dear.

Tomorrow you’ll wake up to a brighter day.